In Training

[kly_2007]

I haven't been on in a while, but I wanted to share some good news. My hubby started training at United!!! Bye bye to the regionals!!! I am very excited for him of course, but can't wait for him to be done with training.

I am going through what everyone here has gone through at one point or another. I have those training blues. I miss my hubby so much and can't wait for him to come home!! I am sitting here now writing to whoever will listen with my 2 scoops of cookies and cream from Baskin Robbins to try to make this feeling go away.( Bye Bye diet ) And to be honest, I don't think all of this sadness is for him being gone right now since on Friday he will be coming home and won't go back to training for 2 1/2 weeks. I think I am dreading the 4 weeks of training after he goes back.

After Friday, it will be 2 weeks since he left for training. He came home last Friday at 12:30am and left on Easter Sunday at 7:30am. I was able to see him for just a little over 24 hours. Now, I did everything I could mentally to prepare for him going. He didn't make it any easier by being home everyday for the last 2 months before he left. I got so used to him being home. I think if he would have quit his other job and then like a week later went right into training, I would have been a lot better off. But I know he needed time to relax after being so stressed out with the whole interview process. Anyways, I thought I was used to him being away and I would be alright, but again, here I am being all sad. I had all of these things I was going to do while he was gone to keep myself busy. I think I have only been to the gym 2 days since he left.

I always forget what it is like for him to be in training, and then as soon as he leaves, that lump in my throat is back again. And with all of this feeling sorry for myself, I haven't really let it sink in that he actually got a new job and I should be excited for him and for us as a married couple. So after all that, my question is, does this make me a bad person? For focusing so much on how sad I feel that he's gone that I'm not getting more excited for him. And when he is around I act as excited for him as I can, and don't get me wrong, I am very, very happy for him. But then he leaves and it is like I get sad all over again. I guess it is hard when all of my family live about 25 minutes away and all I want to do after work is go to sleep to make the days go by faster so that he will be home.

I just feel like I am being selfish and should be focusing more on him since he is the one who got the new job and all, but it's hard when he isn't here. Any suggestions as to what everyone else does or did when their significant other was in training to keep themselves busy? I think I just need to get over this hump and realize that if I keep my mind busy that I will be ok. I just can't seem to get to that point.