STDs

[UKcats06]

Originally Posted by HeffsRah

Kinda weird that you talked with another woman about her affair with your husband to the point of her telling you that they used a condom??? Sounds like a casual conversation..."Yup, I slept with your husband three times, but don't worry, we used protection"

I agree with that. Did you call her or did she call you? If she called you I would definitly say she is trying to start something.

[Regina]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

According to him, they've been friends for a while and he was trying to get through to her that he's not available (obviously that worked well ). I had found her number through snooping and recognizing many calls for about 3 months to an unknown number. yes, i know you shouldn't but emotional feelings aren't always rational, and i called her.

.

First, why is he friends with someone and still having a relationship with someone that is pursuing him?

Second, you called her, so she wasn't the one trying to make waves.

You also said the calls were TO an unknown number. You didn't say from an unknown number, so this wasn't her chasing him, but him calling her too.

Your husband needs to own up to still having a relationship with someone that he knew wanted to be with him. Why did he hide the relationship if something wasn't going on?

This is just very clear to me, but then again, I am not the one in the relationship. Sometimes, love blinds you, and I think this may be one of those times.

[Mrs.Alchemist]

Originally Posted by Regina

Like I mentioned before, most (not all, but most) of the posts that I have seen on here with indications that the husband is cheating tend to be the husband is cheating. I am sorry what you are going through, but please don't be naive about this. It is what it is. He seems to be covering up and using the "she wants a relationship; she is the one that is lying, etc." excuses. He has more at stake than her.

Originally Posted by Regina

This is just very clear to me, but then again, I am not the one in the relationship. Sometimes, love blinds you, and I think this may be one of those times.

Yes, yes, yes...
And I'm sorry that you're going through this! It's anguishing...

[Dana]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

If you wanted your boyfriend or husband to be checked for STDs (and he agreed to do so), would you send him to your OB/GYN, your doctor, his doctor or an independent doctor/specialist?

He goes to his doctor. If you have tested positive for anything he just needs to tell his provider that. Although he will be tested for everything; Gonorrhea, chlamydia, trich, should be tested for syphilis, HIV as well to be thorough.

[Dana]

Originally Posted by skibum515

as far as I know, he can go to any doc because it's basically a blood draw for guys!

Actually, guys can pee in a cup and get most of it done that way.
Syphilis and HIV are blood tests..

[Dana]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

it's just a blood draw? for all STD testing?

No, i don't feel the need to get tested if he gets tested. someone outside of our relationship told me he was sleeping with her. Not that i believe her over him but if he gets tested, it's confirmation for me that there's no carrier between us in regards to any STD, or so i think, and i can put my fears to rest whether or not something occurred.

does that seem reasonable or should i get tested as well for safety sake? i KNOW i haven't been sleeping around.

May take up to a week or two for any symptoms to show up and or for him/you to test positive. So if he just had 'exposure' he may not test positive for a week or so.... just FYI. Watch for symptoms: pain with urination, burning in genital area, sores, discharge, pelvic pain, etc...

[Dana]

Originally Posted by UKcats06

There are STDs he can give you but not have himself (chlamydia i think, and hpv I know) so you should get tested, too!

He carries the HPV, there are types that cause genital warts and others that cause cervical cancer. ( ~ 90 different kinds of HPV out there ) He can get chlamydia as well, if he has it and you have sex with him, you have it now.....

[Dana]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I have no idea if she has any STDs or not but she mentioned sleeping with my husband on 3 occasions (and yes, they used a condom so she says). So when i hear things like that, my first view goes to my own health because i won't allow anyone to compromise that. There are just too many life long STDs out there.

Please get yourself tested fully for all STD's. GC/ Chlamydia, trich, HIV, syphilis, you can get a blood draw for herpes but a direct swab on a lesion is much more specific.

You should be tested for HPV as well. If you are over 30 that should be done on a routine basis on your yearly exam. IF you are under 30, it is not routinely done but you may request it. It may take years to show up once you are exposed. That is why your yearly exam is VERY important. It can easily be taken care of with early detection, it is when no one finds it for some time and it invades the cervix that you have problems..
Wishing you the very best in this difficult situation.

[jr_lenz]

I agree you need to be tested.

Also agree that if he is calling another women several time a month, he is NOT trying to convince her that he isn't intrested. Sorry that you are going through this, but I would a another talk with him, and maybe her at the same time and figure out why their sories don't match. and don't buy into the "well if you don't trust me" line. you have the right to know the truth.

[Anonymous]

[YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE]

Originally Posted by Dana

May take up to a week or two for any symptoms to show up and or for him/you to test positive. So if he just had 'exposure' he may not test positive for a week or so.... just FYI. Watch for symptoms: pain with urination, burning in genital area, sores, discharge, pelvic pain, etc...

So i should wait a good 2 weeks before getting us tested?

Originally Posted by Dana

He carries the HPV, there are types that cause genital warts and others that cause cervical cancer. ( ~ 90 different kinds of HPV out there ) He can get chlamydia as well, if he has it and you have sex with him, you have it now.....

So, is Herpes the only STD that's with you for life? I guess i should really be doing this research...but he SWEARS up and down that there was nothing going on.