5 days of waiting....

[Kristie]

Waiting stinks...every year, i have to wait 5 days for the results of my mammogram and it absolutely sucks.

This morning, i literally got sick simply because i was getting my mammogram done....i'm noticing every year, my fear is continuing to escalate . last year, i was just nervous as hell, it was the first year i started "annual" screening and i could hardly breathe...this year, actually "got sick" before leaving and my fear is not elated considering the exam is now over....now the fear has moved into it's typical "second stage" which is waiting for 5 whole days to hear whether anything has changed or not from my film last year and the base film...

This fear is MUCH worse than the typical "pap smear fear" I have ...Altho I have ovarian and uterine cancer in "the family", it's the fear of BC that has me just stunned and wondering if there's anything at all i can do to stop the escalation...

I hate this fear, but it's real, i have to live with it and i have to admit that i'm starting to wonder if one of these days, my fear is going to take over and stop me from going to these yearly mammo appts. I mean with 50% + odds, i already have a very good idea of what's coming down the pipe..it's just the fear of "when"

[spotty4]

Kristie, why is your fear so intense? Is there a family history of breast cancer? Or are you just fearful for your health and implications if results come back positive?

My honey goes through similar anxiety every time he renews his medical. He has fairly high blood pressure and its genetic. He controls it w/ diet and exercise and when he takes his own bp at home and is comfortable and not stressed, his bp is often nearly as low as mine. But as soon as he shows up for that dr appt his nerves and stress shoot his bp through the roof (higher than is permitted for a free and clear medical). Fortunately his dr is also a pilot and understands the implications if his bp is too high, so the dr will take his bp 3 or 4 times throughout the check up and they all get lower and lower as my honey calms down and settles his nerves.

[Rebes]

Kristie-
I am wondering what makes you so nervous, is it the test or the results? I am going in for my very first mamogram this Wedsnesday, and I am nervous for the actual exam. What does it feel like? I keep telling myself it can't be worse than child birth! Please let me know what to expect! I hope your reults come back fine!

[czechmate]

Originally Posted by Kristie

I hate this fear, but it's real, i have to live with it and i have to admit that i'm starting to wonder if one of these days, my fear is going to take over and stop me from going to these yearly mammo appts. I mean with 50% + odds, i already have a very good idea of what's coming down the pipe..it's just the fear of "when"

Kristie,
Try mind over matter.
Whatever you do, don't stop getting your yearly exam. And just because you have 50%+ odds, still doesn't mean that you will get BC. Be glad that you know that you MIGHT have a higher risk than someone else. Knowing is half the battle.

While I say that, I also get horribly nervous, physically shake and sweat like a pig (which must totally suck for my OBGYN) when I have to go in for my annual (3 x per year actually- due to higher risk) exam. I agree that waiting for the "am I ok until the next exam" phone call is the worst.

I'll be thinking of you and hope you get great results!

Jen

[patty@myflightsurgeon.com]

Kristie,
I am right there with you, I have to do my yearly mammo too, My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 40, so I have been getting mammos since the age of 35 every 2 years but this year the big 40 it changes to yearly.
We have a history of breast cancer on the maternal side so I know how it is to fear the worst.
Just put yourself in Gods hands he will take care of you.

[Bigsweetie]

(((HUGS))) I'm sure everything will come back just fine!!!

[Amanda]

A couple of years ago I was told by my doc to get my first mammogram... but I still haven't gotten it done. I need to find a new OB/GYN here too. I must be weird- I've never been nervous or uncomfortable during the exams. Of course I don't enjoy them either!

Good luck Kristie. I'm sorry to hear you are so upset/worried about the exam.

[Kristie]

The results make me very nervous...except now my nervousness has turned to straight up fear...

both grandmother's had breast cancer i think in their 50's & 60's...one of my grandmothers laps in her 70's and came back as liver cancer which killed her and my mom got it when she was in her early 40's which is what makes my risk so high.. but the scary thing about just getting it, is the metastesizing (sp?)...my mom's went from breast to lung then lung to brain...so even though BC might be curable and you might go into remission, the chance of it metastesizing is fairly probable over time.

I feel better now that the day is over....working and not thinking as hard as i was this morning helped!

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by Rebes

Kristie-
I am wondering what makes you so nervous, is it the test or the results? I am going in for my very first mamogram this Wedsnesday, and I am nervous for the actual exam. What does it feel like? I keep telling myself it can't be worse than child birth! Please let me know what to expect! I hope your reults come back fine!

The test isn't difficult and only takes a few minutes. Waiting to get into the exam is longer than the test.

it's "uncomfortable" because they have to really smash your boobs...there's a "gripper" (like something you'd use to help you open a jar) thing on the bottom which holds your boob in place (yet it can be difficult getting it to adjust just right for the picture just because of that gripper) and then the cold plastic comes down and has to grab the skin/muscle about 1/2 way up between boob and shoulder (because there's breast tissue all the way up to shoulder), so it gets really tight and uncomfortable and even though they tell you not to breathe while the shot is being taken, you kinda can't anyways because your pretty much immobilized at that point.

it takes about 5 seconds to take the picture...they take 4 pictures in total (2 for each)... one vertical and one diagonal.. the diagonal is a bit more "uncomfy" because you have to grab the bar on the opposite side of the machine which sticks your arm pit into the square piece that holds your boob in place and that can bite a little.. but again, it's only for a few seconds and then poof, your done.

They're doing mostly digital imaging now a days (if your's isn't, see if you can find one that does under your insurance plan). reason i say that is because i'd really like to have my base shot to look at each year so i can compare year to year all on my own...but because it's on "old film", there's only one original and it's best left at the imaging location for their use.

This year, it'll be totally digital and with that, i can actually order a copy which means the original still stays at the imagery place but i can still have a copy for my own records/sanity. so i'd recommend definitely finding an imagery location that does digital mammography.

I started my base at 30 and I notice now, at 38, that it's a lot easier because the breasts are less fibris/firm....and my having my doc prescribe them every year, i don't have to pay anything but deductible.

it's weird, but not nearly as weird as a pap. if that helps. haha

[Brenda]

Originally Posted by Kristie

I started my base at 30 and I notice now, at 38, that it's a lot easier because the breasts are less fibris/firm....

OUCH!!!! You make child birth sound so much less painful! lol (with the drugs of course)

You're breast are less firm because they've been tenderized over the yrs on that thing!
I'm sure everything will be fine. Keep us posted! (((hugs)))