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Bigsweetie · 11-06-2005, 01:05 PM

I'm just gonna add one more thing to an already long list of good advice.

Find someone that is supportive... Yes. But at the same time don't forget that marriage is about supporting EACH OTHER'S dreams, not JUST yours. I know alot of pilot families that revolve their entire existance around the husband's career and never taking into account the needs or happiness of the other person. Marriage cannot be a oneway street (or runway) where the only goal for happiness is the pilots career. If she has a job that she loves, you need to support that too. And sometimes that may mean sacrifices on your part as well. The same way that she'll be sacrificing things along the way to support your dreams.

Being a pilot is cool, sure. And being a supportive wife is important. But losing yourself in your husbands career is not healthy and not the situation that you ultimately want to be in. Because it can eventually lead to resentment.

I hear from a lot of pilot wives that have moved from base to base to base away from family, friends, etc. and then the wife is upset, lonely, depressed. We have an arrangement where we WILL NOT move to his base. I don't want to leave my family right now and he would prefer that i'm here also. That means he has to commute and that can be a pain sometimes. But I make ALOT of sacrifices for his career too so it works out. If we are faced with the NECESSITY to move then we will discuss it.

I would never ask Eric to not be a pilot. Not ever. It IS possible to still be a pilot and make compromises. If you work hard enough at it.

It's a great job if that's what you love to do. BUT IT'S ONLY A JOB. Don't lose sight of what's really important in life.

11-06-2005, 01:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
Bigsweetie Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Clinton Township, Michigan Posts: 1,590 Recipes: Thanks: 8 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	Re: Question. I'm just gonna add one more thing to an already long list of good advice. Find someone that is supportive... Yes. But at the same time don't forget that marriage is about supporting EACH OTHER'S dreams, not JUST yours. I know alot of pilot families that revolve their entire existance around the husband's career and never taking into account the needs or happiness of the other person. Marriage cannot be a oneway street (or runway) where the only goal for happiness is the pilots career. If she has a job that she loves, you need to support that too. And sometimes that may mean sacrifices on your part as well. The same way that she'll be sacrificing things along the way to support your dreams. Being a pilot is cool, sure. And being a supportive wife is important. But losing yourself in your husbands career is not healthy and not the situation that you ultimately want to be in. Because it can eventually lead to resentment. I hear from a lot of pilot wives that have moved from base to base to base away from family, friends, etc. and then the wife is upset, lonely, depressed. We have an arrangement where we WILL NOT move to his base. I don't want to leave my family right now and he would prefer that i'm here also. That means he has to commute and that can be a pain sometimes. But I make ALOT of sacrifices for his career too so it works out. If we are faced with the NECESSITY to move then we will discuss it. I would never ask Eric to not be a pilot. Not ever. It IS possible to still be a pilot and make compromises. If you work hard enough at it. It's a great job if that's what you love to do. BUT IT'S ONLY A JOB. Don't lose sight of what's really important in life.