Firstly, my family is flexible. I have extended family scattered about the country and would be happy living near any of them. My father is near retirement and my mother's job is such that she is in high demand anywhere. They are perfectly content to follow me if I settle someplace that is not Los Angeles. So the first thing to do would be for me to try and figure out a way for us all to live near his base.
That failing, Kevin has already come to the conclusion that being where I am is more important than the location itself. He is willing to commute so that I can be near my family.
A quote from him:
As far as the "where will we live" thing goes, I think what we came down with was that we'd both make our best efforts to find someplace that worked for both of us. If I have to commute until we can work something out that fits what everyone wants, then I'm willing to deal with it. Hopefully by that point, I'll be at a major and can afford a small apartment rather than a crashpad. If it happens to be on the other side of the country, you may only get to see me a couple days a month, but I won't force you to move away from your family (if that's what you're worried about). I'm also not going to leave you based on geography. We are very lucky that I'm in an industry that affords me that freedom, and I would be dumb not to take advantage of that.
We wouldn't have gotten this far if we hadn't already worked this out. I try to make sure one issue is settled before I move on to the next
Actually, his eventual willingness to work with me on that point is part of what is making me hesitant to dictate the circumstances under which he moves to Los Angeles. He is moving here, a more expensive place in which he doesn't really want to settle, in order to keep me near my family. I almost hate to now demand that we be engaged, too.