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Bigsweetie · 07-17-2008, 11:48 AM

I agree with you Hokus that the bills should be paid with the money coming in, not by a savings acct. We use our savings acct. on a rare occassion if we're a little low that month, but we make it a point to put it back over the next couple of months.

At our house, i'm the saver and DH is the spender. In the beginning it was a recipe for disaster. Before we got married we talked about spending habits, debt, etc. and DF agreed that his spending was out of control and he couldn't keep living on his credit cards. After we got married, and he knew I "couldn't" leave him, he went right back to his old ways. I was doing the bills and we'd fight almost every day about his spending. One day, I just had it. I told him i'm not doing the bills anymore, you do them. I hope we stay afloat. Not the best way to handle it, but I needed him to see first hand how his spending was affecting our financial situation. He didn't believe me when I told him, he needed to see it first hand.

The first few months, he didn't change any of his spending habits and he saw on the statements how little we were left with at the end of the month (if anything at all- and actually most months he dipped into our savings). It took a while for him to "get it" but he finally did and now he's more of a miser than I am! LOL! Not really, but he doesn't like our checking acct. to go below a amount that I think is too high.

We've learned to balance each other out though. I used to be a horrible miser and would NEVER spend money on myself - EVER! Now that he makes a little more money, I allow myself little luxuries here and there (i.e.- a new tshirt if I need one, or getting my haircut more than once/yr - although it's still at the cheapest place in town LOL!).

My advice - after all that rambling... find a balance. He needs to understand that you can't "live in the moment" with this money from his parents, and that he needs to save for the future. You need to learn to let him have a little something extra once in a while and not worry that the sky is falling (not that you're doing that, i'm just saying...).

Could you work out a compromise that allows him one or two "luxuries" per year and the rest of the time, the money is saved (or invested or whatever)?

Good luck!!

07-17-2008, 11:48 AM	#8 (permalink)
Bigsweetie Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Clinton Township, Michigan Posts: 1,589 Recipes: Thanks: 8 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	Re: Money Differences I agree with you Hokus that the bills should be paid with the money coming in, not by a savings acct. We use our savings acct. on a rare occassion if we're a little low that month, but we make it a point to put it back over the next couple of months. At our house, i'm the saver and DH is the spender. In the beginning it was a recipe for disaster. Before we got married we talked about spending habits, debt, etc. and DF agreed that his spending was out of control and he couldn't keep living on his credit cards. After we got married, and he knew I "couldn't" leave him, he went right back to his old ways. I was doing the bills and we'd fight almost every day about his spending. One day, I just had it. I told him i'm not doing the bills anymore, you do them. I hope we stay afloat. Not the best way to handle it, but I needed him to see first hand how his spending was affecting our financial situation. He didn't believe me when I told him, he needed to see it first hand. The first few months, he didn't change any of his spending habits and he saw on the statements how little we were left with at the end of the month (if anything at all- and actually most months he dipped into our savings). It took a while for him to "get it" but he finally did and now he's more of a miser than I am! LOL! Not really, but he doesn't like our checking acct. to go below a amount that I think is too high. We've learned to balance each other out though. I used to be a horrible miser and would NEVER spend money on myself - EVER! Now that he makes a little more money, I allow myself little luxuries here and there (i.e.- a new tshirt if I need one, or getting my haircut more than once/yr - although it's still at the cheapest place in town LOL!). My advice - after all that rambling... find a balance. He needs to understand that you can't "live in the moment" with this money from his parents, and that he needs to save for the future. You need to learn to let him have a little something extra once in a while and not worry that the sky is falling (not that you're doing that, i'm just saying...). Could you work out a compromise that allows him one or two "luxuries" per year and the rest of the time, the money is saved (or invested or whatever)? Good luck!!