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Originally Posted by Bigsweetie  I wouldn't recommend stuffing your feelings. Trust me, they'll just surface later with more resentment.
If you need vacations in your life and he's depriving you of that (or at least the quality that you want/can afford) then you two really need to work through this. This sounds like the perfect thing for a counselor to help you two figure out. They're great at looking at these things objectively and sometimes making the other person see their spouses point of view. Do you think he'd be willing to go? I'm sure it would only be a couple of sessions. It's not like you two are having major marital differences, but this is one area that you two can't seem to hash out on your own and maybe a third party could help!!
I agree with the others who don't seem to think that it's necessary for your H to worry about what she does with her time there. He's not her babysitter! If he WANTS to hang out with her, that's one thing. But to feel "obligated" to is silly IMO. He's never even met this woman, has he? He doesn't even have the job yet and he's telling you about how he's going to be sightseeing with some other woman? It seems like an odd thing to bring up. Like he's trying to warn you or something.
That, or he knows full well how upsetting it would be to you that he did those things with her and not with you! If that's the case, why would he put some strangers feelings ahead of those of his own wife? That's a big issue, IMO. Your his wife, your feelings should count for something... over and above a perfect strangers.
I guess every marriage is different, but I never understood the mentality that the H's feelings come ahead of the W's and if we have issue with something it must be because we're jealous or insecure... as if we're not entitled to any negative feelings at all. Sorry, i'm ranting..
Bottom line, I think you should find a way to compromise on this... both of you and if you can't talk to a professional who can help. Trying to convince yourself that you don't feel how you feel will NEVER work in the longrun. |
I've mentioned that, but he's not real keen on the idea. He thinks we can work it out ourselves, or, I'll eventually give in and get over it. He's not actually said that last part, but I know he's thinking it.
I think he brought it up because he knew I wouldn't be okay with it and wanted to get my opinion or my okay before he actually went any further as opposed to hitting me with it as he leaves for his first trip.
As for the crew thing. We've had that discussion so many times and I agree they can take care of themselves. What's interesting is he'll let me drive to Pittsburg by myself and not worry, but won't let a female FA or FO go out to eat by themselves. That always seemed a little skewed to me.