Hello and welcome! I too just joined this site recently and have been married 9 months. I don't know that I have a ton of suggestions because I'm struggling with some of the same concerns you are. I have always prided myself on my independence and self-sufficiency and thought before we got married, "No problem-I can do this(be a pilot's wife) on my own. " But I have found I need more, particularly understanding from those in similar situations. My husband is based in ORD and we live in Austin. It has been a challenge so I can empathize with how you're feeling -- Commuting is stressful and tiring for him as I'm sure it is for your husband. And even with being as independent you may be, it is an adjustment when you get married and you are sharing so much more and sharing your lives in a deeper way. You want him to be there at times and he is just not. I have found myself lately expressing my frustration at him for not being here and it is stressful for both of us. I'm trying really hard NOT to do that. We recently got 2 active puppies and there have been moments when I am here alone with them and want to pull my hair out.
But it gets easier. It helps, I think, to focus when he's gone on the things you enjoy doing and your friends, work, hobbies, family, pets, whatever. And really cherish the time you have together. I know things will get better but your feelings are very normal and you are definitely not alone.