[devin]

A friend of mine recently got married to the man she's been dating for about a year and a half. He's in his mid-30s and she's 27. They're very much in love, but she called me the other day with a dilemma and I wasn't sure what advice to give because I've never been in this situation or had this problem before.

Because of his age, and a variety of other reasons, he really wants to have kids now/very soon. She has never been that into the idea, and still doesn't want to have any anytime soon, if ever. They love each other, but she doesn't really know how they can come to an agreement about this. They both feel pretty strongly (she about waiting, he about not wanting to be an "older" parent, and the risks involved with birth defects and whatnot), and have kind of reached a stalemate, and are mutually unhappy about it. They want to work it out, but don't really know how unless one of them just decides to "bite the bullet" about what they feel and do what the other wants, but they both feel pretty strongly about it right now. They think it would cause a lot of unhappiness in the end if they did that.

Not having had children, and both the SO and I feel the same way about the issue ourselves, I had no real advice to give. Has anyone else had to work this out with their SO, and if so, how did you come to an agreement? I suggested seeing a counselor but that was all I really had.