Jetgirls.net - View Single Post

Bigsweetie · 07-14-2007, 11:16 AM

Hi there,

Honestly i'm sorta confused by your post. One minute you're trying for a year to get pg (not being married), then the next thing your saying "no kids before marriage" then comes a now unplanned pregnancy. When you told him "no kids before marriage" did you two discuss marriage at that time?

You said in your post that he's "anti-marriage". I don't think it's wise to force someone's hand if it's not what he wants. You'll end up in divorce court pretty darn quick IMO. I know that you've backed off now and now it seems to be "his" idea (or least he's coming around) to get married. Is it because of the baby? Or that he's afraid you won't move to be with him and he'll lose you? If it's because of either of those things, I don't recommend getting married. Those are horrible reasons to tie the knot.

And why do you want to get married? Because it would make your parents more comfortable? That's how it appears from your post. If that's the case, then you DEFINITELY shouldn't get married. You shouldn't enter into something like that because you feel it would make the family happy.

My best advice is for the two of you to sit down and talk about what you really want for your future. Don't worry about your parents, concern yourselves with each other. He shouldn't marry you just because it's what you want and not him, and you shouldn't marry him because it would make the parents happy. You two should get married (or have a commitment ceremony or whatever) because you realize that you can't live w/o each other and want to make a solid commitment to loving and supporting each other for the rest of your lives!

I apologize if my post comes off harsh, but I don't feel that I can really help you if I don't call it as I see it.

I hope that you two can talk this out and come up with something that makes BOTH of you feel happy and content. Married or not.

Good luck!! And HUGS!!!!

07-14-2007, 11:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
Bigsweetie Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Clinton Township, Michigan Posts: 1,567 Recipes: Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: New and in need of HELP! Hi there, Honestly i'm sorta confused by your post. One minute you're trying for a year to get pg (not being married), then the next thing your saying "no kids before marriage" then comes a now unplanned pregnancy. When you told him "no kids before marriage" did you two discuss marriage at that time? You said in your post that he's "anti-marriage". I don't think it's wise to force someone's hand if it's not what he wants. You'll end up in divorce court pretty darn quick IMO. I know that you've backed off now and now it seems to be "his" idea (or least he's coming around) to get married. Is it because of the baby? Or that he's afraid you won't move to be with him and he'll lose you? If it's because of either of those things, I don't recommend getting married. Those are horrible reasons to tie the knot. And why do you want to get married? Because it would make your parents more comfortable? That's how it appears from your post. If that's the case, then you DEFINITELY shouldn't get married. You shouldn't enter into something like that because you feel it would make the family happy. My best advice is for the two of you to sit down and talk about what you really want for your future. Don't worry about your parents, concern yourselves with each other. He shouldn't marry you just because it's what you want and not him, and you shouldn't marry him because it would make the parents happy. You two should get married (or have a commitment ceremony or whatever) because you realize that you can't live w/o each other and want to make a solid commitment to loving and supporting each other for the rest of your lives! I apologize if my post comes off harsh, but I don't feel that I can really help you if I don't call it as I see it. I hope that you two can talk this out and come up with something that makes BOTH of you feel happy and content. Married or not. Good luck!! And HUGS!!!!