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jamies73 · 07-10-2007, 10:51 PM

I don't think you are abrasive i actually appreciate the down to the point advice..as you can see I am all over the place with worries.

I guess I shoulda explained the charter schedule better...so the way it works he has to report to anywhere in the US on a Monday, and they are on duty 24-7 for 19 days. Meaning he cannot fly home. so if he reports to detroit on monday am..he could have a trip that night wind up in denton texas..wait for a trip 3-4 days..then get another trip..wind up in St louis..etc. Even If I wanted to go where he is on MY 4 days off..he has no way of knowing where he will be or for how long. Sometimes they sit in one place a whole week without an airplane..just waiting for a trip, but it is a very last minute thing. Basically he is their property for the 19 days, could fly morning noon or night.. this causes his sleep to be weird, so our communication is challanged. sometimes he is 2 hrs ahead..or 3..and they never come to west coast..it seems. So really I have been over accomodating because I know it is a crap schedule for both of us.

Yeah..honestly I am not afraid of him leaving me..even with a baby..I guess I just want things to work out more functional. But you are so right..it won't be over night. What I am noticing while being on this site..is that I need to continue to get back on track with my own plans. I feel I am losing myself in this whole process. He is immature when it comes to some issues..and down right selfish at times..but I know he feels he HAS to make it..AND HE IS RIGHT.I know because I see in this group that I can continue my dreams and be in my relationship. I just got off coarse.

I have been speaking with him daily..but I leave the calling up to him..as not to catch him at a busy time KWIM. I have kept my conversations upbeat, and positive, which I can tell he appreciates. Really I want him to succeed, no matter what. We are such great best friends.

I actually have been thinking of many ways to approach him about this that is constructive. He has many times been able to have the "TALK" lol...and be rational..when we are not fighting. But yeah you said it right..8 years..I know exactly how you must have been feeling..cause I do. I mean it is time. I used to be afraid that all these years would be such a waste if I didn't get to share the "life" with him when he makes it. But you ladies have given me the realness that even if we got married tomorrow if we don't make things more 50/50 we won't survive the avaition life style. I am so thankful, because I am not so focused on the future..but more in what I have going on RIGHT NOW.

I love him dearly, and I know he loves me..but really I think I will have to take a stand, and give him the ol sh#% or get off the pot..even if I gave him some sort of time frame. However I am really stepping back and looking at all options. I am certainly trying to preserve my relationship...but I am finally at the point where I have realized bigger than him dumping me even in a pregnant state, would be having a married life of turmoil, and unhappiness..I love myself and him too much to endure that. So yeas the time has come to "get real" as dr Phil would say..lol

Thanks Kristie..hope my guy steps up, time will tell!

07-10-2007, 10:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
jamies73 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento Posts: 14 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: New and in need of HELP! I don't think you are abrasive i actually appreciate the down to the point advice..as you can see I am all over the place with worries. I guess I shoulda explained the charter schedule better...so the way it works he has to report to anywhere in the US on a Monday, and they are on duty 24-7 for 19 days. Meaning he cannot fly home. so if he reports to detroit on monday am..he could have a trip that night wind up in denton texas..wait for a trip 3-4 days..then get another trip..wind up in St louis..etc. Even If I wanted to go where he is on MY 4 days off..he has no way of knowing where he will be or for how long. Sometimes they sit in one place a whole week without an airplane..just waiting for a trip, but it is a very last minute thing. Basically he is their property for the 19 days, could fly morning noon or night.. this causes his sleep to be weird, so our communication is challanged. sometimes he is 2 hrs ahead..or 3..and they never come to west coast..it seems. So really I have been over accomodating because I know it is a crap schedule for both of us. Yeah..honestly I am not afraid of him leaving me..even with a baby..I guess I just want things to work out more functional. But you are so right..it won't be over night. What I am noticing while being on this site..is that I need to continue to get back on track with my own plans. I feel I am losing myself in this whole process. He is immature when it comes to some issues..and down right selfish at times..but I know he feels he HAS to make it..AND HE IS RIGHT.I know because I see in this group that I can continue my dreams and be in my relationship. I just got off coarse. I have been speaking with him daily..but I leave the calling up to him..as not to catch him at a busy time KWIM. I have kept my conversations upbeat, and positive, which I can tell he appreciates. Really I want him to succeed, no matter what. We are such great best friends. I actually have been thinking of many ways to approach him about this that is constructive. He has many times been able to have the "TALK" lol...and be rational..when we are not fighting. But yeah you said it right..8 years..I know exactly how you must have been feeling..cause I do. I mean it is time. I used to be afraid that all these years would be such a waste if I didn't get to share the "life" with him when he makes it. But you ladies have given me the realness that even if we got married tomorrow if we don't make things more 50/50 we won't survive the avaition life style. I am so thankful, because I am not so focused on the future..but more in what I have going on RIGHT NOW. I love him dearly, and I know he loves me..but really I think I will have to take a stand, and give him the ol sh#% or get off the pot..even if I gave him some sort of time frame. However I am really stepping back and looking at all options. I am certainly trying to preserve my relationship...but I am finally at the point where I have realized bigger than him dumping me even in a pregnant state, would be having a married life of turmoil, and unhappiness..I love myself and him too much to endure that. So yeas the time has come to "get real" as dr Phil would say..lol Thanks Kristie..hope my guy steps up, time will tell!