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jamies73 · 07-10-2007, 09:24 PM

Yes Kristie you are right!! I have been asking myself that same question....why am I SO willing to give it all up, and yet my SO doesn't even realize it. One reason is if he stays on charter we only see eachother one week a month...we both agreed we were so tired of the three weeks away. It has been almost a year and a half of that. Gosh some of you ladies talk about 3-4 days away I would be over the moon for that!! LOL! I probably could never go back to seeing him every day..I mean I could..but I love time to myself, and I watch all my chick movies when he is gone catch up with friends..and for a while I was traveling since I always get lots of time off. We have a dog now though, which he talked me into..love her to death..but ladies she has some behavior issues, and it is hard to find a babysitter..lol! Can you imagine?? At least I can take kids with me when I want to get away. Anyway yeah....I am seeing I have been far too giving, and it's time to stop. I don't think he just does these things on purpose...I feel his heart is in the right place, i just think we have to take a more honest look at the future. I would probably do anything not to have to go 3 weeks apart constantly. What bothers me alot is when he is away those three weeks..sometimes they fly 3-4 nights a week..sometimes not at all. In looking back they are always going out to bars and clubs 3-4 nights a week. I mean it started to get better depending on who his captain was, but I started to not feel good about the pattern..KWIM. I mean don't get me wrong I love my nights out with the girls when he is away...but I am not doing it 3-4 nights a week while he is away?

I just wanted time to have more of a realistic routine. I thought by being willing to move..he could get a scheduled run..be home every day off weekends..even though I will miss the ME time..I know it is borrowed time until the next level..I thought it would be time for us to bond as a family, and openly get ready for the future..you know set some goals for the kind of couple we want to be when he is gone again. Communication has just been a BIG FAT pain..with the only home one week. He hates talking on the phone...I start to feel real disconnected, and you mix that with them going out all the time..then I feel like what am I doing??

I hate to be a nag, and I am starting to feel like last week was not the time to set any ground rules down...whether he is really studying over there or playing dominoes...whatever...I don't want to be fighting while he is in training. The time for the hashing out will definately have to be saved for when he comes home..which by the way is 3 weeks away. He told me tonight..they may force him to stay on charter anyway. who knows I hate how these companies have them by the you know what..especially when they are gonna get PIC time..like what is he gonna do...quit?? start all over as an FO..so they just get screwed.

Thanks for responding...nice to meet you!

07-10-2007, 09:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
jamies73 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento Posts: 14 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: New and in need of HELP! Yes Kristie you are right!! I have been asking myself that same question....why am I SO willing to give it all up, and yet my SO doesn't even realize it. One reason is if he stays on charter we only see eachother one week a month...we both agreed we were so tired of the three weeks away. It has been almost a year and a half of that. Gosh some of you ladies talk about 3-4 days away I would be over the moon for that!! LOL! I probably could never go back to seeing him every day..I mean I could..but I love time to myself, and I watch all my chick movies when he is gone catch up with friends..and for a while I was traveling since I always get lots of time off. We have a dog now though, which he talked me into..love her to death..but ladies she has some behavior issues, and it is hard to find a babysitter..lol! Can you imagine?? At least I can take kids with me when I want to get away. Anyway yeah....I am seeing I have been far too giving, and it's time to stop. I don't think he just does these things on purpose...I feel his heart is in the right place, i just think we have to take a more honest look at the future. I would probably do anything not to have to go 3 weeks apart constantly. What bothers me alot is when he is away those three weeks..sometimes they fly 3-4 nights a week..sometimes not at all. In looking back they are always going out to bars and clubs 3-4 nights a week. I mean it started to get better depending on who his captain was, but I started to not feel good about the pattern..KWIM. I mean don't get me wrong I love my nights out with the girls when he is away...but I am not doing it 3-4 nights a week while he is away? I just wanted time to have more of a realistic routine. I thought by being willing to move..he could get a scheduled run..be home every day off weekends..even though I will miss the ME time..I know it is borrowed time until the next level..I thought it would be time for us to bond as a family, and openly get ready for the future..you know set some goals for the kind of couple we want to be when he is gone again. Communication has just been a BIG FAT pain..with the only home one week. He hates talking on the phone...I start to feel real disconnected, and you mix that with them going out all the time..then I feel like what am I doing?? I hate to be a nag, and I am starting to feel like last week was not the time to set any ground rules down...whether he is really studying over there or playing dominoes...whatever...I don't want to be fighting while he is in training. The time for the hashing out will definately have to be saved for when he comes home..which by the way is 3 weeks away. He told me tonight..they may force him to stay on charter anyway. who knows I hate how these companies have them by the you know what..especially when they are gonna get PIC time..like what is he gonna do...quit?? start all over as an FO..so they just get screwed. Thanks for responding...nice to meet you!