Jetgirls.net - View Single Post

superfluous-sally · 06-15-2007, 06:42 PM

I say absolutely not! There has to be a give-and-take in the relationship. If they are going to have this career and yes, we will support that...they need to be sensitive to our needs as well. I always "put it out there," because it's hard enough to keep the emotions in check without having to stuff what you are feeling. It's time to start a new lifestyle, which is what I told myself when this all started...the H and I have to make it work for each other.
I heard other members say communication is the key and I agree. I don't think there is anything wrong with stating your needs, because if you don't you have no one to blame but yourself. You know what I mean?
It's a good time to set some standards, such as delegating time for you both, maybe you start being a part of when he hangs with his friends (if you want,) etc. It's time to be creative. There is no room for guessing and I do think that sometimes you have to spell it out for men (I'm not a male basher, but they do think differently than we do--that's fact.) so they know what the expectation is.
With the distance it is easy for things to get wacky. Best just to identify what you need up front so he knows. That's what marriage is all about.
If I can do it, anyone can!!!!!!! I always say this, but having this site to vent and get support has been extremely helpful for me, so hopefully you will find the same relief from it.
I have to just say--my H has been amazing within this experience. He always calls, texts, e-mails, pictures, video, whatever. He often leaves me cards when he leaves and I do the same for him. (However, even with his efforts, I still have bad days....so, that's the reality of it all.)
Hang in there!

06-15-2007, 06:42 PM	#12 (permalink)
superfluous-sally Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: MN Posts: 15 Recipes: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: New to this site I say absolutely not! There has to be a give-and-take in the relationship. If they are going to have this career and yes, we will support that...they need to be sensitive to our needs as well. I always "put it out there," because it's hard enough to keep the emotions in check without having to stuff what you are feeling. It's time to start a new lifestyle, which is what I told myself when this all started...the H and I have to make it work for each other. I heard other members say communication is the key and I agree. I don't think there is anything wrong with stating your needs, because if you don't you have no one to blame but yourself. You know what I mean? It's a good time to set some standards, such as delegating time for you both, maybe you start being a part of when he hangs with his friends (if you want,) etc. It's time to be creative. There is no room for guessing and I do think that sometimes you have to spell it out for men (I'm not a male basher, but they do think differently than we do--that's fact.) so they know what the expectation is. With the distance it is easy for things to get wacky. Best just to identify what you need up front so he knows. That's what marriage is all about. If I can do it, anyone can!!!!!!! I always say this, but having this site to vent and get support has been extremely helpful for me, so hopefully you will find the same relief from it. I have to just say--my H has been amazing within this experience. He always calls, texts, e-mails, pictures, video, whatever. He often leaves me cards when he leaves and I do the same for him. (However, even with his efforts, I still have bad days....so, that's the reality of it all.) Hang in there!