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Kristie · 07-01-2004, 02:12 PM

If the medical research place calls you back, see if you can intern with them while your attending school.. just explain that you have to concentrate on your studies for hte most part but don't want to lose an opportunity like this.. blah blah blah.. most people, as far as i know (which might not be much mind you) are usually pretty accomodating towards college students because they know they're working hard for that degree.. if it's not something you want to do in your future.. then look at interning at a future "graduate" type job..even if it is dealing with phones, typing or what not... it'll give you a bit more insite and who knows, maybe some good $$ along with it!

but anyways -> whew!! your in "the hard place" right now...where life isn't much fun because you don't have the ability to do what you want when you want....AND your the "sugamomma" (even with no job)...

one of the things you should consider is doing more free things with john...eat penny taco bell burrito's, find the coupons & rebates and use those.. the whole find a penny, pick it up is what you need to concentrate on and it can get worse depending on how you "take it".. guys are easy when it comes to money.. they don't require much (financially or emotionally).. they save every scrap for us girls...us girls are different, we require "a good time" and it usually gets kinda hairy (emotionally) when they can't provide that by taking us out.

so, I'd suggest keeping that in mind and start clipping coupons, hit the low end of the $$ scale restaurants (taco hell?), find the free things to do and enjoy them, hit the $1 movies... find inventive ways to do things like eating a can of black beans on a picnic blanket for lunch...or watching dvd's with the sound off - creating your own script and make some popcorn...there's no money involved if you already own the DVD's & popcorn's super cheap...at some point, you'll find that it's more fun to go to the hole in the wall cheapie restaurants and do things that don't cost a dime...

You also might consider driving up to John more often vs him driving to you... stuff like this is one of the lower ends of the relationship spectrum for us girls, but overall - it really helps out our guys when all is seriously financially unstable. granted, it'd be A LOT more work for you, but he'll seriously appreciate it!

I was pretty hard on doug when i think back to it! it was a serious learning curve for me (I complained A LOT)....I didn't even get to see him while he was instructing...except for every 6 months in which I'd pick him up from the airport and he'd try to treat me with as much scrap $$ that he'd saved up (taco bell was one of our main meals)... but I still picked up the tab most of the time...

and when he was in the regionals & into the first year or so of Delta, I was always driving to the airport to pick him up and drop him off (using my car, my mileage, my gas, my tires etc), let him stay at my place for free (free laundry, free food, free utils, free dog playtime) etc. every other week... around every 4 months or so, i'd get emotionally distraught about it because my biological clock was tickin & it was just taxing on me...but he really appreciated that we kept the marriage/baby thing on the low & that he didn't have to rent a car or a room each time he came down to Fla and every now and then, he gave me a break and did rent a car, again with scrap regional $$....

I have to say that back then, it was really REALLY hard...but in time (a lot of time), it all worked out...I'm a better person for it, he's a better person for it.. it was worth it at the time & we now know just how "worth it" it was and honestly, I woudn't have done it any differently (except for my insecant "want some cheese with that whine" whining back then)....

it just depends on how you want your relationship to work out...if you really want it to work out.. sometimes we just have to suck it up and take the strife, deal with all the crap (as a pilots future wife esp)... it's part of the give/take deal...

it's a give/take, love/hate relationship where right now - your more in the give/give area.. your take will come later - probably years later, but it will come and all will work out! just remember - day at a time!!

make sure john understands that your willing to do more and make sure he also understand that you expect it to not be taken advantage of...I dunno what to say about the loan situation, haven't dealt with those - I'd have him ask the guys on JC or see is his dad will "loan" him the money at a particular interest rate with written paper work.. that way, his dad knows he's serious and would rather pay his dad in interest vs a bank! for some parents, it works out quite well...

man - i'm a typer! sorry it's so L O N G...

07-01-2004, 02:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
Kristie Admin/Owner Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 6,727 Recipes: Thanks: 7 Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts	Re: money issues and ranting If the medical research place calls you back, see if you can intern with them while your attending school.. just explain that you have to concentrate on your studies for hte most part but don't want to lose an opportunity like this.. blah blah blah.. most people, as far as i know (which might not be much mind you) are usually pretty accomodating towards college students because they know they're working hard for that degree.. if it's not something you want to do in your future.. then look at interning at a future "graduate" type job..even if it is dealing with phones, typing or what not... it'll give you a bit more insite and who knows, maybe some good $$ along with it! but anyways -> whew!! your in "the hard place" right now...where life isn't much fun because you don't have the ability to do what you want when you want....AND your the "sugamomma" (even with no job)... one of the things you should consider is doing more free things with john...eat penny taco bell burrito's, find the coupons & rebates and use those.. the whole find a penny, pick it up is what you need to concentrate on and it can get worse depending on how you "take it".. guys are easy when it comes to money.. they don't require much (financially or emotionally).. they save every scrap for us girls...us girls are different, we require "a good time" and it usually gets kinda hairy (emotionally) when they can't provide that by taking us out. so, I'd suggest keeping that in mind and start clipping coupons, hit the low end of the $$ scale restaurants (taco hell?), find the free things to do and enjoy them, hit the $1 movies... find inventive ways to do things like eating a can of black beans on a picnic blanket for lunch...or watching dvd's with the sound off - creating your own script and make some popcorn...there's no money involved if you already own the DVD's & popcorn's super cheap...at some point, you'll find that it's more fun to go to the hole in the wall cheapie restaurants and do things that don't cost a dime... You also might consider driving up to John more often vs him driving to you... stuff like this is one of the lower ends of the relationship spectrum for us girls, but overall - it really helps out our guys when all is seriously financially unstable. granted, it'd be A LOT more work for you, but he'll seriously appreciate it! I was pretty hard on doug when i think back to it! it was a serious learning curve for me (I complained A LOT)....I didn't even get to see him while he was instructing...except for every 6 months in which I'd pick him up from the airport and he'd try to treat me with as much scrap $$ that he'd saved up (taco bell was one of our main meals)... but I still picked up the tab most of the time... and when he was in the regionals & into the first year or so of Delta, I was always driving to the airport to pick him up and drop him off (using my car, my mileage, my gas, my tires etc), let him stay at my place for free (free laundry, free food, free utils, free dog playtime) etc. every other week... around every 4 months or so, i'd get emotionally distraught about it because my biological clock was tickin & it was just taxing on me...but he really appreciated that we kept the marriage/baby thing on the low & that he didn't have to rent a car or a room each time he came down to Fla and every now and then, he gave me a break and did rent a car, again with scrap regional $$.... I have to say that back then, it was really REALLY hard...but in time (a lot of time), it all worked out...I'm a better person for it, he's a better person for it.. it was worth it at the time & we now know just how "worth it" it was and honestly, I woudn't have done it any differently (except for my insecant "want some cheese with that whine" whining back then).... it just depends on how you want your relationship to work out...if you really want it to work out.. sometimes we just have to suck it up and take the strife, deal with all the crap (as a pilots future wife esp)... it's part of the give/take deal... it's a give/take, love/hate relationship where right now - your more in the give/give area.. your take will come later - probably years later, but it will come and all will work out! just remember - day at a time!! make sure john understands that your willing to do more and make sure he also understand that you expect it to not be taken advantage of...I dunno what to say about the loan situation, haven't dealt with those - I'd have him ask the guys on JC or see is his dad will "loan" him the money at a particular interest rate with written paper work.. that way, his dad knows he's serious and would rather pay his dad in interest vs a bank! for some parents, it works out quite well... man - i'm a typer! sorry it's so L O N G...