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Originally Posted by missjenny  I'm new here too (my first post!) and I've been in your situation for the past year, so I thought I'd let you know how I "survived" it. I had just moved across the country for grad school when my DH (fiance at the time) started working for a regional. We went from living together to seeing each other a few days a month (the commute was insane). It was a very tough first year, and there were definitely times I thought it would be too much to handle. Here are a few things I learned that might help you out:
*when your boyfriend is able to come home, try as hard as you can to clear your schedule to have quality time. I would spend evenings and weekends at school getting ahead in my work so that I could spend time with DH instead of camping myself at the table with my books while he surfed JC or watched football.
*find ways to "distract" yourself. Whenever I would feel really lonely, I would go running, take the puppy to the dog park, or go out for coffee with my friends... something to get you out of the house and thinking about something other than how much you miss him.
*Don't call him to complain or pick a fight. I'm very guilty of this... If I had a particularly bad day, I'd take it out on him over the phone. My new solution: if I feel upset or angry, I write down what's bothering me, then go on a long run to think the problem over. By the time I get back home, I'm normally much more rational about the situation and can talk it out without getting upset.
*I'm a natural worrier, so I sometimes get very upset that something is going to happen to him (irrational- yes, I know!). If I'm sitting around and want to know where DH is, I go onto one of those flight tracker websites and find his plane, so that I know he's in the air and I can see his altitude, what time he's supposed to land, etc. It might sound stupid, but it makes me feel better. If you're more worried about infidelity, just remember that most of what you hear is just exaggerated and really isn't as common as everyone might think. The temptation is just the same as if he were working in a more "traditional" workplace, so don't believe all the hype and made for TV Lifetime original movies about pilots with wives in every bases- they're just not true.
I hope all of this helps! Its a tough way of life, but it does have its upsides. If you need anything or want to talk, feel free to PM me!
Jen |
Nicely said Jen...Honestly, all of the above work wonders when you start having a rough day...best thing you can do additional is just start taking one day at a time.. don't look too far ahead, don't plan too far ahead. When you start getting concerned about something, ask yourself why before even talking to your boyfriend about it... if it's insecurities on your behalf, try to work them out with yourself first.. ask yourself why your insecure, is it you or is it somehting BF is doing that gives you a yellow or red flag? if you see a red flag, definatley talk about it with him but do it calmly so that you don't feel like your getting "in one ear/out the other" syndrome! haha
but give yourself a break.. keep yourself busy...if you need additional time when he's home, make sure you try to have a clear schedule so you can maximize your quality time together...with quality time and communcation, you should be able to get thru this hump!!
